Gals Go Wild At Ugly Grace's

Lyanne Sakks of the Crappy Times met up with Lammy and Murry Magdalene at Ugly Grace's Bar and Grill. They were having a wild time last night.

Rub-a-dub-dub

We got a photo from a scene being shot on location in Sexy Sadie's bathroom for the new flick directed by King Smut about the strange love triangle between Alien Guy, Nosferatu, and Wolfie.

Click here for details.

Old Photo

We happened to run across this old photo from Sept. 2005 that had been posted on the Alien Guy's blog. It was interesting because it has the actual real faces of Doug, Indie, Tan Lucy Pez, and Mall Diva.

The post was about Dog Face Girl revealing that she was Icy's mother.

Ariel's Pictures

Ariel doesn't have a blog, but she has pictures on flickr. This is one of my favorite pictures she has posted there. It is her brother. You can see his image in the glasses. She also has a lot of pictures of buildings in Budapest, Hungry.

To see her pictures, click here.

Cheesemeister's Book Will Be Really Big

by Soothie, the blind clairvoyant


As I peer into the future, I see a book written by the Cheesemeister being published this coming summer! And it appears to be really big. Oh, I don't know if it will be big in the sense of making her a lot of money, but it will be really really big in size based on all the blogs she writes.

We are looking foreword to reading it. Based on her unconventional subject matter concerning the undead and spirits, it should be quite interesting and entertaining. She even had a ghost to help her write it. That seems amusing that her muse is a ghost.

We just want to wish her all the luck in the world and all the luck in the Netherworld as well!

Brittney Devil Doll's New Job

By Dusty Doggy


Oh dear Jesus! Ever since the Naked Gymnastics broke up, it seems the dolls have been going down hill. Now the devil doll, Brittney, has found a minimum wage job spinning records as a D.J. She is trying to play CD's on an old Victrola with a worn out dusty needle. She so flaky! And she thinks that the grinding, scratchy sound that comes out is music.

It has been reported by our secret sources that she spent her whole welfare check at the Goodwill used junk store to purchase the antique record player. The only good part of the songs is when the machine winds down and she has to hand-crank it up again.

That quack station doesn't have a microphone and broadcast tower, but only a paper Dixie cup she yells into that is connected by a string to a 40 gallon drum that amplifies her screachy voice and the needle scratching on a CD.

Some may feel sorry for her, but she is just getting what she deserves with all that Devil worshipping.

Life Sucks

By Grimmy (The Grim Reaper)

Yes, we hear it all the time: "Life Sucks!" But mostly we hear it from people who are alive. I'm not here to fool you or anybody, so I'll tell you outright. It may be true that life sucks, but death sucks even more. If you want to know what it feels like to be lonely in a crowd, just take a walk through a cemetery. Boring. Yes it is. Boring.

I don't really like this job, but somebody has to do it. Of course George Bush is helping me a lot. He is sending me a lot of young guys. The so-called Middle East part of the world is becoming a real harvest for me, and to beat all, they want to develop Nukes to kill even more and more in less time. There are several more countries that are dying to have weapons of mass destruction. It must be a fad.

Even Mama Nature is getting in on the act and has been whipping up all kinds of natural disasters that kill multitudes of people. The humans are actually killing themselves by ignoring prudence in taking care of their world. In effect, they are killing their own children and grand-children.

They have to put up fences around grave yards because so many people are dying to get in there. But believe me, it is boring being dead.

Who's Responsible?

Editorial by Smenita

Aren't we responsible for our own actions or what? Why does everyone want to blame someone else for their own poor judgement or stupid decisions. If you do something, stand up and face the consequences for your actions!

I was called to the stand to testify in Lammy's recent trial. Her goofy lawyer was trying to say that Lammy was not responsible for her behavior because I gave her advice and she took it. I mean, just because someone gives advice, that doesn't relieve you from the consequences if you make the choice to take the advice.

Lammy has a lamb's head because the witch Enditall put a curse on her. I merely suggested to Lammy that maybe she should take revenge and do the same back to the witch. Put a curse on her! And I told her how she could do it. But I didn't twist her arm or hold a gun on Lammy to force her to take my advice. It was just my opinion.

Then when Lammy took my advice, she screwed up like the dumb ass she is, and she caught herself on fire. That was her own stupidity. I just gave her my opinion and told her what I would do in her situation. So how does that make Lammy so sweet and innocent and me so wicked?

Why should I be considered a "wicked" fairy just because of my attitude. A curmudgeon just has a negative attitude, but they don't necessarily take action on their attitudes. We should be judged on our actions, not just our opinions and attitudes.

And why should I be condemned for what someone else does just because they listen to me and make the decision to take action on what I said. It's not my fault that she did what she did. I only presented her with some alternatives.

Lammy's Death Reversed

Reported by Icy

Lammy (Patty Lamb) appealed her sentence to Hell in the Superior Netherworld Court. The original judge in the case became ill so I had to go sit in for him. I was sort of hesitant to do so because Lammy is the niece of my Master Tom, so I was really in favor of her from the start. But I tried to be objective as we tried her. It was very trying.

But it all turned out good. The last to testify was Dr. Schitz and Prof. Snewgflo concerning some kind of DNA evidence which no one but themselves could comprehend. Basically, they showed that Lammy is not pregnant by the Grim Reaper. This made him and the Devil angry so they up and walked out. So all I had to do was declare her sentence null and I reversed her death so she could return to life on Earth.

I was really nervous sitting up there on the bench as they call it. Everyone kept looking at me as if I was some kind of super smart wise guy, but I actually didn't have the slightest idea of what was going on.

Lammy will have to stay at a half-way house in the Netherworld for a while to readjust to life by first being undead. She believes her sister is somewhere in the Netherworld and hopes to find her. Lula has been missing for about a year.

Lammy will still have her lamb's head when she fully returns to life. The witch Enditall cursed her and caused her head to turn into a sheep head. So the nickname "Lammy" seems appropriate for her, though she really got it from sleeping with a little puppet lamb called Lamb Chop when she was a little girl.

We want to wish Lammy all the luck in the world in finding her sister, finding who is the real father of her baby, as well as trying to get the curse reversed and getting her original head back.

What's Good About Earth?

Reported by The Alien Guy

Wow! You guys on Earth are starting what you call a New Year. I am just glad that I live up here on the planet Shiznit. I have been studying your planet for several years and it sure doesn't look good from here. I don't know how you lasted as long as you have. No one seems to be able to get along. There are a lot of really good and decent people down there, and some really smart peeps, too. But everyone has their faults and can be swayed by the majority of bad people there. Or do you disagree? Then tell me some of the really good things about your big blue rock. I'd like to hear them.

Happy New Year

Reported by Dusty Doggy



There's a hostile take-over here at the Asinine News. I am still the editor-in-chief, but it appears that Lammy has taken control of the blog even though she is in hell. I don't know how she does that. I really don't know much about anything, especially since I have gotten so old. It all has something to do with switching to the new Blogger and Google thing. It is confusing. Both Lammy and I are on the same account, so it seems. But she switched first. I am a little slow in my old days.

Oh, and speaking of Lammy being in hell, guess who else just went down there. Check out the Devil's blog. But we would like to add that there are rumors that Lammy might be coming back somehow. She is now pregnant with The Grim Reaper's baby and it seems she is making a deal with the Death Guy to get to come back. I have to be careful what I say because she is now in control of this news outlet. But I am still the Master of Lying! I am the Paparazzi Supreme!

We have also learned that Pansi is going to the Netherworld. But we'll have to get more details from the Cheesemeister or the Crappy times. The links are in our sidebar. I just hope Mrs. Weirsdo of the x-Pansi Files will give us a summary of what all is going on. I haven't been able to get around much lately. I just hope things settle down around here to a calmer chaos.

I just felt like chatting a little. Maybe later things will get back to the abnormal normalcy of this strange blog thingy. Well, Happy New Year!