Flowering Kudzu

by Flowering Kudzu

I am a reject from the Pansi Files. Mrs. Weirsdo says that I don't really exist at all and don't belong with the original bunch of barbie dolls of the now disbanded 'Naked Gymnastics for Jesus' also called NG4J. She makes me feel like I am a weed that just crept onto the scene somehow. She called me a Trailer-Trash Barbie and seems to indicate that I didn't belong with the likes of Pansi.

I was named after a plant called Flowering Kudzu that grows on the ground over bare spots and you can cut it up and move it around and stuff like that. Just like the vine or whatever it is, I multiply fast and spread and have had about 24 or 25 kids. Also like the plant, I get torn apart a lot.

Judge Is Court Jester

by Dusty Doggy

Judge Larry Seidlin, sometimes called Judge Snarky, is said to have ambitions of becoming a TV judge like Judge Judy or Judge Joe Brown and having his own show. Many think he is using the trail for custody of Anna Nicole Smith's body as a stepping stone or a "pitch" to TV producers.

The story is here.

Cheesemeister?

by Dusty Doggy

I got this picture of the Cheesemeister at the hair salon getting in on the new fad started by Britney Spears -- shaving the head bald!

Anna Nicole Smith Is Not Dead

by Dusty Doggy

I just saw Anna Nicole Smith down at the mall! The paparazzi were all over her. Oh, wait a minute. That wasn't Anna Nicole. It was Pansi, formerly of the Pansi Files and now at the New Adventures of Pansi. Oh well, never mind.

Fire Drill

The outside of the Netherworld Hotel became blood red on Valentine's Day and this scared many people. Someone pulled the fire alarm and the yard was flooded with weird characters!

Copy-Cat Band

Billy the Kid was really upset after coming in last at the Vogon Idol Awards, so since then, he has started up his own band. He calls it The Dead Cheeze-Its. Many critics complain that it is a copy of Death Cheese and that the music world doesn't need another band like that!

In the promo pic, Billy the Kid, Dummy Dick Head, The Curmudgeon Squirrel, Spooky Gal, Snewgflo Axxy, and below is Metal Soggy, Buzzy Mantis and The Killer Rabbit-Rabbit.

Axe Man Shows His Love

The volatile Axe Man, member of Death Cheese Band, shows his deep feelings with Flowering Kudzu as he expresses his love in the manner as only he could do.

Lambkin Kidnapped

Lammy was overjoyed with the news that her baby had been found down on the farm as reported by Hildy-Bob (click here for her story). The excited mother rushed to hold her babe in her arms for the first time since it disappeared after birth.

But in a split second, it was gone again when Dewey Banjer slipped up from nowhere and grabbed the baby kid that is rumored to have been fathered by the Axe Man of Death Cheese. The kidnapper rode off into the swampy woods and could not be followed.

No reports yet have been filed as to the reason for the abduction. Axe Man could not be reached for comment.

Patrons Argue At Ugly Grace's

Crawly Brain and Deep Thought were having a very intellectual discussion about politics at Ugly Grace's Bar and Grill when Rasputin's Penis came in and started an argument about who was the most important body organ. There's never a dull moment in that place!

Gotta Please Ourself

by Lammy

Do we have to explain ourselves to others? Is it really necessary to rationalize our thinking and behavior for the benefit of... who? Our friends? No, they don't need to hear explanations because they accept us as we are. That's why they are friends. To our critics? Naw. They won't listen anyway. They'd only take whatever we say and twist it around to their own opinions which they already have. Maybe to newbies who just happen by and don't know us? Heck, most of them don't really care and the rest will either like or dislike us and there's not really much we can convince them of as if we were a product being advertised on the market. They already have preset or preconceived notions of what they want to like or dislike.

So I guess it boils down to satisfying ourselves. The people who are like us and think like us will like us. The people who are not like us and don't think like us won't like us. Oh, I suppose it is important to put our best foot forward and try to impress people, but they will find out the real us eventually. Just like we sooner or later find out about the people trying to fool us into believing they are something they are not.

Really knowing someone takes a lot of investment of time and consideration. Unless someone is getting something out of us, they usually don't want to put in that much of an investment. Most will only skim the surface and move on. We can't capture friends. If you catch a bird, let it go and if it comes back, it likes or loves you. Just thinking.