I saw my daughter, Icy, and Soggy of Death Cheese coming out of Ugly Grace's and it appeared they were more than just friendly. Unfortunately I didn't have my digital camera, so I had to use an old 50-year-old Kodak Brownie that still had a roll of 620 black and white pan film in it. Now that was hard to get developed. But I wanted to get this picture to show Icy's mom, the Dog Face Girl.
The Death Cheese Fan Club, consisting of 666 members, has issued their official Fan Photo Poster (kind-of) representing their idols and role models. Click on the picture to enlarge it for downloading and then print it to put on your bedroom wall.
It is definite that Rapper Eminem will be starring in the big screen movie version of the western TV series, "Have Gun Will Travel" coming out next year. He will also produce the music for the flick. So, Mr. Banana of the Pansi Files, not to be outdone, has signed Rapper Diamonelle to star in the remake of "The Sound of Music" which will also feature Death Cheese, the band that will produce the music for that flick. We are now awaiting the announcement of the video games paralleling the flicks.
After a party with the Death Cheese, we got this photo of the Cheesemeister wearing her flashy red and yellow parachute pants.
The brilliant and multi-tasking Mr. Banana of the Pansi Files has saved the day again for the movie project, "Plan 9 From the NetherWorld." It had been shut down because Holle, the grandniece of Wolfie of the Death Cheese kept flashing and exposing herself during shooting. After reading about the Frick'n laser that the Chinese have developed to dissipate clouds during the Olympics to prevent rain, Mr. Banana somehow got hold of one and plans to use it to shoot and dissipate Holle whenever she tries to strip in front of the camera during a shoot. That man is a genius when it comes to getting a job done!
As Hard Solo was playing his violin in the front yard of the Weirsdo Mansion, Lammy suddenly barged into the scene and began vying for Solo's attention from Mall Diva. Latest reports indicate that Lammy is in fair condition in the hospital wing of the Blochalela Foundation under the care of Dr. Doo Doo.
It is the opinion of this rag that Lammy is getting what she deserves. She has brought all this upon herself with her snotty attitude. First she snubbed Harry to go with the Axe Man of the Death Cheese Group and then rejected him without provocation. Then she teased Agelon of the Pansi Files, but was blatantly spurned by him. She also screwed up her chances with the nice Sandwich Head Man. After finally being turned away from her attempts at a same sex affair with cult leader Brittney (also of Pansi Files), she has been spotted carousing outside Ugly Grace's late at night with Flowering Kudzu.
An un-named source close to the Cheesemeister has sent us this photo of Alvin being attacked by the Nutty Squirrel at the Death Cheese secret cabin.
This picture is of Pansi, and here is her audio version of her poem. She wants to be able to return to the Library to recite stories on audio for all of us to enjoy, but it seems that Mall Diva is the curator and has had a dispute with her. We beg all of you to go to Mall Diva's blog and ask her to allow Pansi to return to the library and share with us her delightful stories on audio.
I went to that "dive" called Ugly Grace's thinking I would get enough material to write several columns about that place as well as the Death Cheese and observe the Lutefiskies. But I woke up in the gutter and can't remember anything except the food. It was Lutefish in honor of the Lutefiskies. But it was like eating oysters that had been regergitated by several other patrons before me. After I gagged on it and tossed it, they scooped it off the floor and served it to the next table. I think they were Lammy and Angelon of the Pansi Files or else it was Harry and Hermione. I'm not for sure about anything concerning that night. I had forgotten about Daisy divorcing Angelon, but after seeing him gobble down that Lukefish crap I can well understand. It sure didn't taste as good as hotdogs!
I am still trying to figure out what happened to me that night. I think the Death Cheese started playing and a black hole opened up and I was sucked in.
Yes! Doug of Waking Ambrose has a new Best Seller book out! It is called Sleeping With Ambrose - Unabridged. That is a tricky title because people think it says under the bridge and that is why so many ran out to buy it.
Actually it is just a list of every word that is in the dictionary, but the definitions are left blank with space so that you can write in your own definition. Cool, huh? It is sort of like L. Ron Hubbards book that he made which had the Titles of all the books of the Bible and the Chapters and the verses, but the text was left blank so that you could write in your own and make your own version of the Bible and start your own religion.
The Publisher, Mr. Banana of the Pansi Files, who has his hand in everything now days, said that Doug made the book specifically for his special love, Pansi. Exactly the kind of book she likes, no writing in it!
So rush out and get your copy. We recommend it as a dandy door stop.
