Cheesemeister's Flashy Hair-do

Cheesemeister got her hair colored, and colored, and colored! We couldn't find out who her hair dresser is. Maybe she will tell.

I Masticate A Lot

by Lammy


Now that boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. is interested in me since he found out that sheep are browsers, and that has something to do with computers. And he was especially interested in me because I chew a cud and he likewise like to chew, but he likes bubble gum.

I have four stomachs and puke up what I eat into my mouth to chew it some more. It is a close relation to anorexia when they eat and then throw it up or "toss their cookies" for fear of gaining weight. But they don't swallow their vomit like me.

They call us ruminants which means we ruminate our food and likewise I ruminate thoughts like vomiting them and chewing and then swallowing and then barfing again and swallowing. I don't mean to be redundant, but us sheep are that way because we are ruminants and we regurgitate our food and thoughts and then quaff the slimy puke or embellished original ideas.

I hadn't realized how great things could be the second time around until Enditall turned my head into a lamb's head and made me a ruminant.

Masticating is really fun! I got so I masticate a whole lot. I regurgitate, masticate, then suck it down my throat only to start the cycle again. It is like recycling food or ideas, this ruminating behavior. But eventually all good things must end and I shit.

Rev. Reptile A Hero

During heshe night at the Happy Wiener, Rev. Jimmy Reptile and Congressman Mark Foley were doing their act when Foley saw the Boy From S.A.C.A.D.A. The Congressman said the boy shouldn't be in a place like that and insisted on taking him home with him to protect him, but Rev. Reptile refused and took the boy back to the boy's home. Foley was outraged and said he would have the Reverend's Preaching License revoked.

Reptile said that he had thought Foley was "a trusting guy" at first, but then he had second thoughts. The boy is now safe, thanks to the Netherworld's Hero!

Sexy Sadie?

I was sniffing around trying to dig up something when I saw King Smut filming a dirty movie about nuns! And one of the stars was Sexy Sadie. I thought she would look a lot different than that.

Dusty Doggy Punished

By Icy

Dusty Doggy has been chastised and sent to his doghouse without supper for the gross article and picture he posted here. It's really bad when even the porno film makers like Filthy Fred are disgusted by the sight. Dusty tried to defend himself by saying he was just "pushing the envelope" but we feel he was thinking so far outside the box that he entered the moronic-sphere and disgraced even the most nauseating Paparazzi.

Dusty Doggy tried to say he was "swinging the pendulum" the opposite direction from Rev. Reptile's thinking, but it seems a rather extreme polarization of ideas. We felt the graphics were too graphic and Dusty Doggy retorted that being pungent and terse was his style and mode for getting his point across. But we felt his caustic art went beyond normal insanity.

Reverend Reptile "Born Again"

Rev. Reptile told us he was a Fundamentalist Christian who took the bible very literally. We discovered this to be true when we caught him trying to be "born again" by sticking his head into a woman so far that she appeared to be pregnant.

Spooky Guy Glows

I read something about the Spooky Guy glowing in the dark after taking Dr. Schitz's lighten-up pills, so I went over to check it out for myself. Sure enough, when I took his picture in the dark without a flash, he glowed! I can't remember exactly where I read about it, but Cheesemeister might be able to help us on the link.

Antithesis: Lula and Icy

Icy is so sweet, kind and innocent while Lula is so bitter, hateful and filthy minded. I am just confused in the middle between the two extremes. Could it be true that all things are in all of us. Are we all made of the same stuff, star dust? Is free will our choice to manifest the parts of us we wish to be?

Sibling Rivalry

Quorthon and Spooky Guy are still fighting in the future! Lyanne Sakks did an article about them in the Crappy Times and we thought we would follow it up using our time machine to see what was going on this coming December with them. I guess Lyanne wasn't lying this time.

Rev Reptile Removed From The Happy Wiener

Tron, Tom Thumb and Peter Piper, male dancers at the Happy Wiener, watch as police eject Rev. Jimmy Reptile for disrupting the performances by protesting and preaching. Reptile is reported as claiming their kind of stripping is immoral while his stripping is in the service of God.